Scumbags Pt. II

Ok no need to rehash old subjects, like who is the biggest scumbag on the planet. But when the contestants keep coming out of the woodwork faster than pedophile priests (scumbags in there own right, but I digress), it is the sworn duty of The Guitarman to pluck at the metaphorical strings:

Lets start with an obvious target, the honchos at Goldman Sachs. Never mind that some were caught on tape admitting the shitty deal they were trying to pass on to their investors. Not every broker can pick winners all the time. But the fact that they bet against their own advise, thus making millions (billions?), conjures up memories of those most famous of scumbags, Randolph and Mortimer Duke. Quoteth Randolph: "...no matter whether our clients make money or lose money, Duke & Duke get the commissions." Money talks, bullshit, er, makes more money.

And while we're on the subject of the Goldman hearings, let's not overlook our own federal government. Members of Congress are holding up to the fire the execs at Goldman for their role in the banking crises, hoping that this mis-directional tactic will help Americans forget that is was they themselves who kept pressure on the Fed to push the twin Freddies (Mac and Mae) to keep extending questionable mortgages. Shuffle the blame, shout angrily, and keep reminding the voters that you really are on their side. It is an election year after all, may the loudest, richest scumbag win.

An obvious candidate, lets look at 30 time arrestee Heriberto Viramontes. Who? I'll tell you. He's the piece of crap scumbag that beat those two woman in Chicago with a baseball bat for some gas money. Being a member of a gang, in this case the Spanish Cobras, makes you an automatic scumbag. But beating unconscious two defenseless woman so you can get home that night puts you in the running for scumbag of the month. (Side note: we must include the asshole cab driver who saw the bloody and almost unconscious Stacy and DROVE AWAY! Thank God another cabbie with a soul was right behind him) Why hadn't the courts and cops put Heriberto away for any of his past indiscretions? They were to busy protecting themselves and winning this months scumbag award.

And heeeeere they are! Chicago cop John Ardelean and Cook County Judge Thomas Gainer Jr. Lets start with the cop. He was drunk one night. A video tape SHOWS HIM doing 5 shots before leaving the bar he was at. 5. Don't know about you, but I am passed out after 5 shots. So John got in his car and killed two men with it. He wasn't arrested or even given a breathalyzer for seven hours. (We should include the fraternity of cops protecting each other as scumbag contestants, but this space isn't big enough to go there) So the Judge relies on the "testimony" of two fellow cops that said he didn't appear intoxicated, to throw out the evidence. And the cop walked. 2 guys dead, and he walks. That should be enough for Thomas to win, but guess what? He has a history of letting bad cops get off scot free. He was the one who acquitted the 3 cops that beat the shit out of a group of businessmen last year at the Jefferson tap bar. Just as it is with the Catholic Church, these scumbags put their own survival ahead of the people they were hired to serve. If that ain't a scumbag, then I'm not The Guitarman.