An answer would be nice.

Another day, another recent story of senseless bombings, attacks, and outright cowardice to innocent civilians and soldiers alike in the Middle East. A bombing in Baghdad last week kills 155. Today 100 are dead in Pakistan in a marketplace. The number will surely rise. And October has been the deadliest month in Afghanistan since the start of the war. One thing is surely clear. The people that would do harm to others feel that this is the way to accomplish their goals. But what exactly are those goals?

In Austin Powers, Dr. Evil is easy to figure out. Power and world domination. Same goes with just about all the bad guys in all of the James Bond movies. By the end of each, 007 had it figured out and the bad guys met their maker in some cinematic extravaganza. But Obama is no Bond, just as Bush and Clinton were no Austin Powers. And therein lies the rub. We don't know what the hell these people want and we are no closer to figuring it out. I'm not even sure THEY know what they want either. You could say hatred of all things American, but then why the hell are they killing each other? In the name of religion?

It seems to me the best way to defeat your enemy is to know your enemy, and until we know exactly what makes them tick, all the troops in the world won't make a difference, be it 40,000 or 4,000,000. This enemy is like a hydra. You cut off a head, and it grows back. But in this case, for every head you cut off, 2 grow back. For every terrorist (insurgent) killed, excuse me for not being PC, dozens more are kidnapped (recruited), brainwashed (trained), armed with an AK47 and sent on their merry way.

So what is the answer? Hell, I am just a guy who likes to play guitar and prattle on and on about cheesehead drivers, stupid people, and bad politicians in a blog that 2 people read. What do I know? But I know what isn't the answer. Bombing them back to the stone age, hanging Sadaam Hussein, holding POW's for eternity, it all sounds like sweet revenge. But in the end, we are just throwing wood on the fire. A fire that will continue to burn until we ask why does it burn. And actually get an answer.

I want to be a liar when I grow up, just like you daddy!

And I thought I was a bad parent!! Well, not in the sense that many of you might think. We don't give our kids alcohol or drugs. We don't let them hold wild unsupervised parties. They have to do their homework before they are allowed to have fun. They can't go out past curfew. They are held accountable when they break the rules. Yada, yada, yada. Our greatest sins are giving in too often, doing too much for them, and letting them send 10,000 texts every month. OK send and receive. But we also don't tell them to lie, and we don't force them to get tattoos against their will, both of which recently happened to some sensationalism.

Everyone has heard the story of "the balloon boy" by now. Little Falcon Heene was supposedly carried away by a homemade weather balloon, only to have been found supposedly hiding in his garage. Turns out the parents made it all up for publicity to get on a reality show. (How about getting a job instead?). But the worst part, aside from wasting the taxpayers money searching for the boy and shutting down the nearby airport, was that they told the kid to lie to back up their scheme. And they were only busted by his youthful ignorance. On CNN, the father looks right into the boys eyes and asks why he didn't come out when they were calling for him, and he replies with all the wonder of a six year old, "Um, you guys said, that, mmm, we did this for the show." You could almost see the confusion running through his brain. Do I say what my dad told me to say, or do I answer his question truthfully? Poor kid, his parents are despicable.

And then there's the lesser known story of a Hispanic gang banger in CA holding his son down against his will while another man tattoos a gang symbol on him. Like some sort of brand to let everyone know it's his boy. Apparently the boy asked for it. So which is worse, allowing your 7 year old to get a tattoo, a gang tattoo, or making your son get a tattoo? Either of which has sealed this poor kids fate for the rest of his life.

So every time I let a curse word slip out in the presence of one of my kids, every time I let them have consecutive sleepovers because they begged me, or every time I give them $20 for the mall or Six Flags, I think I am the worst parent in the world. OK, third worst, right behind Richard Heene and Enrique Gonzalez. And maybe the Ramseys.

I'm not so think as you stupid I am.

The dumbing down of America continues, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

I first started noticing things like, NO TURN ON RED signs at intersections where there previously wasn't one. Some idiot caused an accident, or more likely scores of idiots, and now smart drivers pay the price of having their option taken away from them based on someone else's poor judgement. Or the disclaimer stickers they put on things, like the one on the iron that says "Caution: HOT". It's an IRON. Or the one on the lawn mower that tells you not to put your hands inside where the blade is while the mower is running. Well duh. But I did hear the story of the guy who picked up his mover to trim his bushes, promptly removing a few of his fingers. He sued the manufacturer and won because there was no warning anywhere that told him not to do it. (CME trading floor story, probability of being true 50%)

But the latest is getting downright scary. Are drivers too dumb now to notice that they are weaving across the center line on their own? The car will steer you back to center. Or about to hit the car in front of them? It will "prep" the brakes for you. Are we so in-attentive that we forget the cruise control is on? No need, HAL will slow the car down. Or that there is a car in the dreaded blind spot? WARNING LIGHT! Yes all these features are the newest gadgets to hit the auto industry. Wonder how much all that development cost. Here's a concept. Teach the drivers better and spend the money on alternative fuel development instead. The best is the Lexus that actually parks the car for you. No need for drivers ed classes to bother with parallel parking anymore, just make sure the kid makes enough dough to buy a Lexus and the car will do the rest. Why all these tecnho gizmo's? Because we are becoming too dumb to not have them.

So every time some idiot does something stupid, you can be sure someone will take up the charge and make sure that we slap a warning sticker on it, or pass a law to protect the rest of us. Like its contagious or something. I have a friend who always says, "80% of the people in this world are stupid." Or maybe 90%. I think it started lower and has crept up after all these years. I say, given a chance to do something stupid, people will never let you down.

So whats the big hurry anyway?

So in case you are just waking up and haven't heard the miraculous news, President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to...I mean, for the amazing work he has done to...hold on a sec. What is it that he has actually done to deserve this great honor? That's right. NOTHING.

Now I am not picking on him because he hasn't accomplished much in his 8 months in office. In fact he has been a busy little beaver, holding beer summits in the Rose Garden, giving billion of dollars to hand picked wall street firms, and flying half way across the world to give yet another rah-rah campaign speech to help Chicago get the 2016 games. No, I am picking on him because this is further evidence that we are putting him on a pedestal before he actually deserves it. Never mind that the deadline for submitting nominations was Feb. 1, a mere 12 days after he was sworn in. Someone must have thought he was doing a heck-uva job already. The reason then for the award? According to the Nobel Peace Prize committee, they "...attached special importance to Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons." Basically, they gave it to him for what he has said he would do. In other news:

The PGA has awarded Tiger Woods the 1st place trophy for all the tournaments he plans to enter for the 2010 tour, based on the evidence that other players just don't stand a chance. Quote Phil Mickelson, "We whole heartily agree that this is the right thing to do. He is just too good. The rest of the field and I will now play for second place."

George Lucas has been awarded the first ever pre-emptive Oscar for his next big screen project. "Bar Wars", to begin production in 2011, is the story of two brothers from outer space, who vow to be the first extra-terrestrials to open a bar on the planet earth. But the evil Bud Viser and his legions of Dark Lagers, stands between them and their dream. "I don't really even have a script yet, just an idea I scribbled in a bar napkin one night," says Lucas. Good enough for us, says the Oscar committee.

The Chicago city council has voted unanimously to abandon all future elections for the office of Mayor. "Mayor Daley has proven time and time again that he loves nothing more than the Great city of Chicago, and it would be our honor to see him die in office at the ripe old age of 96."

And finally, the Cleveland Cavaliers have been awarded the 2010 NBA championship. David Stern said, "I love Lebron. And with the addition of Shaq to the team, I just don't see the sense in playing the regular season and risking injury to either player."

I don't know about you, but I think I am going to go the Ted Willaims route and have myself cryogenically frozen for a while. Hopefully when I wake up, Chelsea Clinton won't be President for the sole reason of her last name. Don't laugh, it could happen.

What would Mr. Rodgers do?

Now at the end of my last rant, I mentioned blowing off someones head with a Glock for the mere inconvenience of spoiling the Bears game for me. A bit of an exaggeration, and no I am not going to recant or apologize. That's the beauty of blogs. I just wanted to talk about the whole issue of guns in the home.

Now I don't own a gun, yet, but that may soon change. (For those of you out there considering burglarizing my house, I do have a pitching wedge by the bed. I considered a long iron, but I like the added heft of the wedge, as well as the shorter shaft thus enabling a less cumbersome swing inside the confines of the bedroom.) A few recent articles in the paper have begun to sway me. Last week I brought the attention of two stories in the same paper to the wife's eyes. One was the tragic story of the downstate IL family who were found murdered in their small town home. Five dead, no one in custody. The second was that of an intruder shot to death by a home owner after a break-in in Chicago. Now if you had to pick one, which family would you rather be?

The argument for a gun basically states itself. It's the counter argument that's gets a little fuzzy. Both of my kids are responsible teenagers, no worry about them playing with daddy's "toy". Both are old enough to know the dangers, and yes both are reaching that dreaded age where the talk of ready access to a suicide weapon can't be overlooked. Also we don't live in some huge, opulent house that screams, "Come rob me!!", our neighborhood is modest and quiet in a supposedly tranquil suburb. But I believe now it is the prudent thing to do. And the wife agrees with me. It was the third article in this morning's paper that maybe convinced me.

Right across town, in another cul-de-sac, in another relatively modest neighborhood, a guy wakes up to find an intruder in the house. Turns out the home owner catches the guy by sitting on him on the front lawn until police arrived. I guess it was lucky for each man that neither one had a gun. I don't think I want to take the chance that 1) the guy who breaks into my house is unarmed, or 2) that he is one of the 2% of the population the I actually outweigh. Besides, my golf swing is good, but it's not what it used to be.

So it looks like gun store, here I come. Going to go with a nice loud shotgun. Nothing like the distinct sound of that chck-chck a shotgun makes when you cock the weapon. Hell that sound alone should be enough to send intruders scampering away in fear. Now that last article listed the streets of both accoster and accostee, and you know what? They were friggin neighbors. That's right, some loser tried to rob his own neighbor. What would Mr. Rodgers sing about now?