Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Legal or not, this storm is a brewin'.

Fear. It's what drives society. It's the reason we bubble wrap our kids as they hop on a bike, or strap on a pair of rolllerblades. It's why homosexuals have stayed in the closet for so long, and why homophobes are crying foul now that the nation is coming around to acceptance and equality. It's also why bomb toting lunatics are hell bent on destroying the world around them. And for sure, it's why the war on drugs, a failed war if there ever was one, was ever launched in the first place. But there is another battle looming in that war, and nobody has done a damn thing about it.

True story, happened last week. A local delivery driver had a terrible accident and struck and killed an 81 year old pedestrian as she crossed the street. As horrible as it is for both family's involved, it's about to get a whole lot worse for one. The victims family is dealing with the sudden loss of their elderly matriarch, and while the driver will undoubtedly feel the pain for the rest of his life for accidentally taking the life of another, he will probably spend a good chunk of that life behind bars. As is normal in an accidental death related to driving a vehicle, his blood was checked. And knowing what they would find, he admitted to the police that yes he had smoked marijuana the night before. And of course, his life is over.

Lets change a couple of words there and imagine the outcome. "...he admitted to the police that yes he had smoked marijuana a couple of beers the night before." As we all know, you can drink and drink and drink, and drink some more, sleep it off, wake up the next morning, and legally drive anywhere you want. Hangover aside, one's judgement is unimpaired in the eyes of the law. But those same eyes, due to the nations war on all drugs, look at the guy that smoked pot the night before, and will charge him with felony aggravated DUI. For all of you who do not know, THC, the part of marijuana that gives you a high, stays in the body for a long time. The high will wear off in a few hours, just as alcohol will do, but the damning residue remains. There is no way of actually testing a person to see if they are high at any one given moment.

Now I know what most of you are thinking: But pot is illegal! Well you are kinda right. Here in Illinois, we are set to legalize it for medical reasons. Just like 19 other states, we are slowing winding the drug war down. But therein lies the rub. If we are legally saying that it is ok to ingest it, what are we gonna do when that person gets behind the wheel of a car? The poor schlep mentioned above actually drives for a living. Would you be any more/less sympathetic if this was next year, and he was prescribed marijuana by a doctor? More importantly, would the law? Approximately 2.5 million people legally smoke marijuana right now in this country. My guess is that they all drive. What are we going to do about that?

This isn't the first time this has happened, and for sure it won't be the last. Maybe we can find a way to test for it. Maybe put a tray of brownies in front of a person and see how many they eat. Maybe tell them a bad joke and see how long they laugh. "Yes your honor, the defendant endlessly giggled like a school girl when told the joke about the chicken crossing the road, all the while stuffing his face full of brownies. He only stopped when we took the plate away." But seriously, someday, somewhere out there, an elderly grandma with Glaucoma will take her doctors advise and smoke some pot to alleviate her symptoms, get in the car to go to church the next morning, have an accident, and get thrown in jail with the dregs of society. Won't that make a snappy headline. POTHEAD GRANNY MOWS DOWN INNOCENT BYSTANDER WHILE HIGH ON DRUGS. I'm sure some politician will use that to get elected.