Lunatic fringe, I know you're out there.

Ahhh, there's nothing like a little NATO summit to stir up the wackos. In case you have been in a coma for the last few months, yes Chicago is hosting the NATO summit this weekend. And lest you think the GM is going to get all political on you, think again. I couldn't even tell you what the World Leaders will be talking about. The local press is all agog over the influx of protesters, occupiers, anarchists, activists, Black Bloc-ers, and every other nutjob out there, who's sole intent is to disrupt the lives of everyone in their path. We even have the NATO 3, sure to go down in infamy with the likes of the Black Panthers and the Weather Underground. What binds all of these people together? Love of their country? Hatred for the government? Probably a little of both. But the one underlying factor? To quote another famous movie line, well to me anyway, "...he's out of his gourd."

They come from every corner of the country, with one goal in mind. Anarchy. Disruption. Well that's two. But in reality, what happened along the way? How did their warped minds decide one day that they would forgo a sane line of work, such as being a CPA or a bus driver, and instead become leaders of the revolution? It still

makes me laugh when I read about someone like Kathy Kelly. She has done it all. She was on the "Audacity to Hope", part of the flotilla of activists raging lunatics trying to get through the Israeli blockade. She defied U.S. sanctions to sneak into Iraq, surviving the Baghdad bombings. She was arrested for trespassing on a military training base, and again for planting corn on the site of a nuclear missile solo. Mmmm, give me some of that for dinner. ("Daddy, why is the corn glowing?") And lately, she walked from Madison to Chicago, to build support to stop the war in Afghanistan. I seriously doubt the President of Pakistan is saying right now, "Gentlemen. We cannot continue this path of destruction in Afghanistan. We must listen to Kathy Kelly and replace ours guns with bouquets of flowers. Or poppies." More likely he is saying, "Pass the hummus please."

And it's worse when people like Kathy are championed by the likes of columnist Mark Brown, who applauds her courage. Clap all you want Mark, but to me she is nothing but the lunatic fringe. A life wasted in pursuit of windmills and activism. Like the loonies just arrested in Chicago now called the NATO 3, she should be put in a padded cell and given milk toast. You are not in my mind contributing to society. On the contrary, you are draining from it. Every time some protester is arrested here, police have to waste their time hauling his ass to jail, a judge has to pass a meaningless sentence, and so on. Every time an American is arrested abroad somewhere, the government has to get involved in trying to secure their freedom before some Sadaam-like despot cuts their head off. Every time we host world leaders to actually sit down and try and get something accomplished, money and resources are wasted to keep the bomb-throwers at bay. And where does it get them?

Was Kathy Kelly instrumental in freeing Iraq from a crazed egomaniac? No. Are the Palestinians any better off from the actions of the peace flotilla? My bet is they don't even know of it's existence. Are the world leaders here for the NATO summit taking into consideration the demands of the protesters? Doubt it. Did the NATO 3 really think a few Molotov cocktails were going to shut the city down? You bet. And there-in lies the rub. These people actually think they are doing some good. But the reality is that they are wasting their time, and their life. So go ahead and hike into Iran and see where it gets you. Extend your middle finger to a bunch of cops in Chicago. Does that make you feel better? Hitch your star to the plight of a bunch of oppressed foreigners half a world away, who don't even like you or what you stand for. If it makes you breathe easier at the end of the day, do it. But to me, you are just a wacko with no job.

Make a Stand

So, if you take my title literally, then you may assume that this is one of those how-to-do-it-by-yourself-without-cutting-off-an-appendage blogs, and they ARE out there. I would start by having you decide upon the type of stand you want to make, choose your wood, call Bob Vila for advice, etc... But I don't want you to make that kind of stand. I want you to make one like the President of these here United States did today. I want you to make a stand on the issue of gay rights.

Before that day last year, I didn't know. Before that day, I was fine being in the shadows. Before that one day, I had not taken a stand. Innocuous joke here or there, unfettered opinion on this or that. It didn't pertain to me. But since that day, my eyes have been opened. The jokes, it turns out, were not so innocuous. My opinions, weren't opinions at all. You see, that day, was the day my son told me he was gay. Did it change my life? You betcha. In a good way? Undoubtedly.

Gay, straight, bent, happy, sad, black, white, rich, poor, with, without...it doesn't matter. One should be entitled to the same freedoms and rights as the guy in the house next to you. And how do we define those rights and freedoms? With a thousand year old book, or with a constitution? Me, I go for the constitution. It's too bad that half of the country sees it the other way around. Like the good folks in North Carolina. And one dubious individual named James Komaniecki.

If you haven't heard of JMK, let me fill you in. He is the president of a little group called RestoreAmericanLiberty.com And he likes to sign his emails with the following signature: Defending Freedom, Judeo-Christian Values and Conservative Principles. Well, I'll give him the conservative principles part. But defending freedom? What a joke. Who's freedom? Not my sons that's for sure. Being an outspoken homophobe intent on keeping freedoms away from a percentage of the population isn't exactly what I would call a "defense". And the Christian Values part? I'd like to invite all of my Christian readers to weigh in with a comment below answering the following question: do your Christian values equate more to my view on gay rights, or JMK's? Do you side with the outdated ramblings of the bible on this issue, or with the principles this country was founded on? I want you to make a stand.

I wish I had the time and space to share with you the email stream that I have had going with JMK for a while now. I can summarize here by saying that he believes that being gay is a lifestyle choice, and that one can be cured from this "malady." He even had some of his Komaniecki-ites weigh in with their opinions. They feared that I had given in an allowed my son this immoral behavior. Well I will tell you this. It is not my son's future that I have any fear about. But it is the future of the offspring of these homophobic hate spreaders that I fear. Afraid that one generation is passing on their bigotry to the next. Afraid that among them, lurks a gay teen too brainwashed by his own parents to come out and be who he or she is. Imagine a young gay child, coming to terms with his own sexuality, that in itself being a mountain to overcome. But also knowing that if his or her parents knew, they would at best try and convert him back, or at worst, abandon them. That is the person I am afraid for. Why do you think the rate of suicide among gay teens has reached the epidemic level that it has? Bullying for one. But I am pointing right at the parents for that one.

I will admit one thing here, that the bible is the reason we have marriage in the first place. But somewhere along the way, a country was born. Rights and freedoms were established. Somehow, though, one seemed to have an effect on the other, and throughout the years, has had its foot on the throat of the other. What is it exactly are the JMK's of the world afraid of? Nobody wants to turn you into a gay man. They just don't want you to tell them how to live there own life, a life you can't possibly comprehend. At one point, I couldn't either. But now I do, and I will go to my grave trying to put people like James Komaniecki in their place.

I want to end this by doing what I do best, quoting a line from some movie I have seen too many times. At the end of Along Came Polly, one of the characters pulls aside a guy and tells him something like, "It's not about where you're going or where you've been. It's about the ride for Christs sake." Enjoy the ride. Be happy. Be yourself. It's the golden rule, do unto others. That's in the bible, right? And for Christs sake, be kind to thy fellow human being. After all, God made us all in His image, not James Komeniecki's.

Oh, and here is JMK's email address, just in case you're feeling a little anarchistic today. I'm sure he'd love to tell you how wrong you are. jkomaniecki@gmail.com

Say cheese!!

I have often wondered what my mug shot would look like. It all depends on the crime I guess. You can't help but to look into the eyes of people and wonder exactly what was going through their minds the instant that shutter clicked. A moment frozen in time that most everyone would like to forget, with the possible exception of Charles Manson. You would think, it might be a moment of personal reflection. A little sadness, a little remorse, a little self pity, a blank stare looking off into space, wondering where it all went wrong. You would think. But, alas, we know that isn't the case.

Some look just happy to be there.

Some are saying, "Fuck you I did it! What are you gonna do about it?"

Others lose all manner of self control and succumb to their situation.

Some are still drunk from the night before...

...while a few are still trying to use their "skills" to get out of a ticket.

Then there is the confused...

...the too cool for words...

...and the, "I am still running for re-election so let's make this a photo-op".

And some? Well some look like aliens from another planet.

I am sure though, that if I were to find myself in the uncompromising position of having to pose for a police mugshot, my expression would look something like this poor person, only without the long blond hair, the tank top, and the mascara running down my face. But until we find ourselves in that position, we can either wonder forever what we would look like in the pain of the moment, or pose in front of the mirror, practicing for that inevitable day. Wait, everyone else does that too, don't they?

Accountability 101

Where has all the accountability gone? When I was a kid, I did stuff. And when it was bad stuff, my parents held me accountable. One of my favorite things to do in the winter, was to climb up on our roof, and huck snowballs at the passing cars. As it was, it was harmless enough. I didn't pack rocks in the middle of them, I didn't use ice chunks, and my aim and distance were bad enough that if the offending orb of packed snow crystals did make it in the vicinity of a passing car, it usually splattered harmlessly on the pavement behind, with the faint wisp of tailpipe emissions hovering over the once proud snowball saying, "Haha, you missed." Usually.

Until one day my trajectory and sheer human strength came together as one and exploded on the windshield of an unsuspecting motorist. "Yes!!" I must've shrieked triumphantly. I don't remember exactly what I shrieked. But I do remember the joy lasting about a second and a half, as the guy slammed on the brakes, backed up the car, and got out. I did what any kid would do in that situation: I hid behind the chimney. "You don't think I see you up there?" he hollered. What was he going to do? Climb my roof? Worse. He rang the doorbell and ratted me out. To this day, I have the very distinct memory of my father coming home from work that night, dragging me down the block to the guys house, and watching smugly from the sidewalk as I sheepishly rang this guys doorbell and apologized. But the lesson stuck. I believe, as do most people, that you should be held accountable for your actions.

Fast forward to this morning, reading about some kid shot to death, lying on the front stoop of some guys house he intended to rob. He and 2 buddies tried to force their way into this persons house. They had a gun with them. They meant business. But a funny thing happened next: so did the guy inside. And when the thugs tried to break into his door, he shot one of them. So there the dead guy lay, with a gun still in his hand. And the poor kids mother, now faced with the grief of losing her son had this to say: “He wasn’t in no home invasion.” Really. A convicted felon's corpse is lying on the pavement of someone else's house, with a gun in his hand, shot by the home owner. There were multiple witnesses. And I ask, where is the accountability?

Rewind exactly one day. A group of parishioners are banded together on the steps of their church in unity over the recent spate of killings in Chicago. Now I don't know how many of you out there care, or know, but as far as murders go, this year has been bad in Chicago. Really bad. Let me quote a few of them here. “I wish the violence would stop because they’re taking away our loved ones and it is horrible.” And, “We’re tired of our children being killed, we’re tired of our children being gunned down." The first quote says "...they’re taking away our loved ones." Who are "they"? The second quote says "...our children being killed..." The answer is right in front of them. "They" are "our children". They grow up with no discipline, no fear, and no accountability. The parents, though faced with the enormous challenge of raising a child in the killing fields of northern Illinois, are failing in their job to raise honest, law abiding citizens. These kids need someone to show them the right way to be a human being. But if the parents won't hold themselves accountable, what chance do the poor kids have?

Just one term will do.

I normally like to let the nuances of a previous topic sink in for the better part of a week before I launch myself cruise-missile style into my next rant. Cut me off in traffic? I'll tell you about it. Diss my Bears? You are going to get an earful. And as it is today, touch on a hot potato like this, and you'll hear from me. But I'll keep it brief.

One of my favorite political rants is the election system. And most specifically, the "re"-election system. Bottom line, if you are a sitting member of congress, or the presidency, you should not have the opportunity to run for re-election. Too much time is wasted worrying about what the voters will think, instead of, I dunno, actually running the country. But don't take my misguided word for it. Would the words of the president himself actually do?

At a recent summit in South Korea, this exchange was overheard, " 'On all these issues, particularly on missile defense, this, this can be solved but it’s important for him to give me space,' Obama said referring to Medvedev’s boss, Vladimir Putin. 'This is my last election. After my election I have more flexibility.' " Right. Not exactly damning. But what is Obama actually saying here? That he can't negotiate or converse openly in an election year? Hmmm, why would that be? But it gets better. In actually trying to explain his remarks, he says it again by remarking that he was trying to make the point that he couldn't conduct "thoughtful consultations" in an election year.

There you have it, straight from the presidents own mouth, that he can't fulfill the duties of his office with other world leaders in an election year. What more proof do we need that this is a flawed system? 200 years ago, our presidents did not have to worry about exit polls and approval ratings. They served their time, and then went back to their lives. Mexico got it right, one six year term, and no re-election. Is it so much for American citizens to ask that we elect a president that will actually be a president for his full term, and not a candidate for half of it?

Heaven sent: Chocolate covered joints.

You ever have one of those moments when you had an idea that something was bad for you, only to give in do it anyway? And for the most foolhardy among us, "one of those moments" actually means "every waking hour of my conscious being." Smokers come to mind. And drinkers. And of course those of us who refuse to bubble wrap ourselves in our own protective cocoon from all of the true evils in the world as we ride along on our two wheeled vehicles of choice. But that's not really want I want to talk about today. Do any of us really pay attention to the studies that are done for the common good of man? And lest you think The Guitarman is making this stuff up, I will post a link for you non-believers:

Chocolate: Ahh, the sweet elixir of life. Show me a person who hates chocolate, and I will show you a rotten commy bastard. So it should be of massive relief to those of us with the cocoa bean running through our veins that yes indeed, chocolate can make you thin. According to the study, people who consume the golden standard of confection are, on average, thinner than people who don't. And when I read this next part, I almost fainted: "The study found no link with quantity consumed." Saints be praised! So for dinner tonight, I think we will have a main course of chocolate, with a little chocolate dipping sauce on the side, with some finely ground chocolate sprinkles on top. All washed down with a glass of chocolate milk. Reservations anyone?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17511011

North Dakota: Nestled comfortably in the northern reaches of our great country, a recent study suggests that this illustrious state that has brought us such cultural gems as "Fargo", and, well, "Fargo", is on the brink of becoming Saudi Arabia. Recent developments in North Dakota, such as forbidding woman to drive, or vote, or leave their home without a male escort, along with a couple of be-headings for career criminals that jaywalked at a busy intersection, have thrust our northerly neighbor into the national spotlight. Not to mention the governor channeling all of his states income into his own personal coffers. But of course I am kidding. But the study does offer that if we were to start drilling for oil there, "the new Bakken oil fields spanning the Montana-North Dakota border hold the potential for yielding 24 billion barrels -- double the present US proved reserves!" But I understand. This country would rather be held slave to another that suppresses human rights and enriches it's leaders, than to forge ahead on our own. What does it matter? In another 50 years all of the worlds oil will be gone, and we will all be humming along on electric scooters with our little helmets and knee pads.

http://www.adr-intl.com/Bakken_Potential_Impact.pdf

Pot: I can't begin to touch the surface of this hot potato. To date, there have been somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000 studies on marijuana. It has been illegal since 1937, and since 1970 has held the distinct classification as a Schedule 1 substance, putting it in the same category as heroin. Heroin. Coke and meth, massively addictive drugs that have ruined countless lives are classified as Schedule 2, less of a threat than pot in the eyes of the government. Know any potheads? The word "harmless" comes to mind. Ever hear of Whitney Houston? Died from heart failure due to cocaine use. I think it's time for a wake up call here. "The scientific conclusions of the overwhelmingly majority of modern research directly conflicts with the federal government's stance that cannabis is a highly dangerous substance worthy of absolute criminalization." And then the article goes on to say that not only do the medical benefits outweigh any potential negative aspects of the drug, but should actually be a "first line treatment" for many maladies. So why the full court press to keep this wonder drug of nature out of our bodies? Fear. Fear by our leaders for their own political skin. Fear that if they back this contentious issue they will be thrown out on their ears. Isn't there a single politician in Washington willing to look at the common sense facts, and make a common sense decision? We all know the answer is a resounding no. Wimps.

http://norml.org/component/zoo/category/recent-research-on-medical-marijuana

Alcohol: Headline of this study, "Drinking Alcohol Makes Young Adults Act Stupid." Do I really need to say anything more?

http://www.momlogic.com/2010/01/painfully_obvious_15_useless_studies.php#drinking_alcohol_makes_young_adults_act_stupid

The Last Kiss Goodnight

It was quite a long time ago, many years before they became Brooding Young Teens 1 and 2. Which of course was predated by impish adolescence, which followed screaming brats, cute toddlers, and cuddly newborns.

The kids are all grown now, one off to college in the fall, the other winding her way through high school. And when I say all grown, I mean they aren't yet adults, but way past the point when I could pick them up, put 'em on my shoulders, give them piggy backs up the stairs, or even get an old fashioned hug. We are rolling with it of course, the endless financial aid forms, trips to the mall to just hang out, BDubs binging, snowboarding, tattoo parlors, garage door opening at 2am, and so on. Eh, like I said, we are rolling with it. Life goes on, ya know? But as I look back, I realize that I missed out on cherishing something that at the time I had no idea was happening. The last kiss goodnight.

If you knew that tomorrow, your young child was finally at that age where giving mom and dad a kiss on the lips was just, ewww, wouldn't you hug a little longer? Give them that extra pat on the head with a peck on the forehead? Made sure they heard you when you told them how much you loved them? But we never know when those moments are upon us. One minute, they are holding your hand, and in the next, they are taking the car keys. But if only I could have like 5 minutes with the 7 year old version of them one more time.

So many little things you take for granted when they are babes. The last bath you give them before they insisted that you weren't allowed to see them naked anymore. The last time you fed them before they yanked that fork out of your hand. The last time you tied their shoes. Or got them dressed. The last time you got to say how their hair would be cut, but still felt a twinge of re-assurance when they had you tell the barber. The last time you helped them with their homework, before you realized they know more than you. Ok, that one comes later, but another moment, none-the-less, when your child has taken another step towards their own independence. And at the time you had no idea.

Some of these moments, I admit, are of the Phew! variety. Was happy not giving them baths anymore, equally so when they could eat on their own. Relieved when I didn't have to drive BYT#1 to and fro when he got his drivers license. Still doing the rounds with BYT#2, but she turns 16 in a couple of months. Not sure that one is going to be a Phew! or a Yikes!, but we will roll with it. But the last kiss goodnight? God I wish I could have that one back.

The old coin toss: you can do better.

Growing old has it's advantages. I am perpetually amazed that as the big Five-Oh is slowly creeping up on me, gray hair has still eluded my head. I recently grew a full beard for the winter, and an old friend from school asked how on Gods green Earth did I not have any gray. Clean living. Ahem. But the advantages of which I elude to are more in line with the impeccable wisdom one acquires as they reach the end of their time. Am I the next Dhalai Lama? Ghandi? More like Benny Hill. But if there is one thing The Guitarman has learned while tapping away at the keypad over the years, it's this: bore your audience once too often, and they cease to be your audience. So, a pre-apology is in order as tomorrow is election day in Illinois, and well, I can't help myself.

Rick Santorum: What is it about this guy that tells us he has any business running for president? Declaring Satan has set his sights on America, in 2008 he said at the time of Obama's position on abortion, “This is not a political war at all, this is not a culture war at all, this is a spiritual war.” Wrong, wrong, and wrong again. The man sitting at the big desk at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. must be able to work with his fellow politicians, he must be able to bridge the divide of the many different cultures in this country, and he must not be a polarizing right wing-nut intent on dragging the country in a religious debate. So please fellow Illinoisans and all you others yet to vote, take a pass on a man who wants to run this country from his heart, not his head.

State Rep. Derrick Smith: Nothing to see here folks, move along, move along. That's what US Rep Danny Davis wants you all to do. It's just another Chicago politician busted for taking a bribe, no big deal. Happens every day. Only it happened last week. While Smith is running for election. It's one thing to be an incumbent fat cat sitting back and holding sway over all of your domain. It's another to actually campaign on that. "Vote for me and I will bribe your district into glory!" But the worst part? Davis and his posse of alderman admit that being secretly recorded while allegedly accepting a $7,000 bribe is in fact "bad". There not even arguing the point. They want you to vote for Smith because he is NOT that most vile of politicians, a Republican. I am going to place a bet: Smith wins by a landslide.

The Duggars: I am not a big fan of most reality television. I can watch a few episodes of Bath Crashers, Room Crashers, Yard Crashers, Survivorman, Man vs. Wild, Wife Swap, Buried Alive, I shouldn't be Alive, The Voice and, wait, what was I saying? Can't remember. But one show I have never watched is 19 and Counting. You know, that deeply Christian family that keeps having kids because 1) the parents won't stop having sex, and 2) they won't use anything to prevent a pregnancy, and 3) they are challenging that family from Monty Python's Meaning of Life for most kids by a set of parents. Why do I bring them up? They are stumping in Illinois for the fore-mentioned Santorum. Really. Yea, that's what Chicagoan's want to hear. We are in massive debt, we can't afford to keep our homes, we are out of work, we still can't carry a handgun on the street in Illinois, businesses are leaving the state, BUT we will all be saved if we elect this truly righteous man to the presidency. Sign me up.

Judges: I admit, I couldn't name one judge running for election in my district if you asked me now. But ask me tomorrow and I will give you a few names. Only because I believe that the mostly overlooked races for judicial seats are more important than any other names on the ballot. Everyone knows who is running for president, most people will recognize the name of their State Rep's, but nobody has a clue who these people in robes are. And that's a shame, because if there is one person running for office that can have a direct impact on someone elses life, it's the guy, or gal, sitting across from you in a courtroom. And nothing can ruin a person's life faster than a bad judge with a vendetta. So join me tonight in doing a little homework. Get to know those names you gloss over on a ballot before you decide. And you really don't have to do much work. There are endless amounts of groups that vet the candidates and rate them so you don't have to. Here is a good place to start: http://www.isba.org/judicialevaluations

One last thing, GO VOTE!! We can't get anything done in this country if you don't vote, and you don't care. We now return to our scheduled nonsense. Next week: how to turn rutabaga into diesel fuel.

1, 2, 3, 4, should I add just one more?

Had a gig Saturday night. It went OK by my standards. Actually, a little to the low end of the OK side. Missed a few chord changes, muffed a harmony or two. Had one good moment there for about 20 seconds when I hit that feeling like you're not really playing, you're watching your fingers move but you're not controlling them. Sort of an "out of body" experience? Maybe that's a bit too melodramatic. But all in all, a sub par night. But you'll have to excuse me one bad night, I did have to learn 21 songs in about 10 days with one practice backing up a singer that I met an hour before the gig. Oh yea, and did I mention that this is my 4th band?

See, up until now, I bet you thought "The Guitarman" was some mighty honor I had bestowed upon myself, not knowing if I was a guy who sat around in my underwear strumming some beat up hand-me-down with 5 strings, or indeed a true lunatic who can't seem to find enough things to clog up his time with, touring the dredges of northern Illinois every other weekend in some vain attempt to achieve musical notoriety. Of the latter I am guilty, to the point of insanity.

Stayin' Late, my main band if you will (and I only concede that because we have been together the longest...6, 7 years?), gets regular gigs, we have a blast playing, we make decent money, we all get along, no egos, no expectations, we just mesh together well. I wanted to play out more, ergo make more money, so I joined a great bunch of guys in Axe. We are tight, have a great guitar player Ron, and again have a lot of fun. One Friday morning I get a call from a bar owner desperate for a band for the next night. Stayin' Late guys are busy, Axe didn't have enough tunes yet, so 3 phone calls later, Mule Train was born. Without a practice, we jammed hard and rocked the joint full of bikers at a birthday party. Bar owner loved us, and the band lives on. And finally, a good friend offered me a chance to be a part of a new band that is up and coming, and hopes to make a big splash on the bigger stages. Great lead singer, solid group of musicians, Sinners and Saints has a chance to really take off.

But, running diatribe on my life aside, I beg the question to you, the loyal reader. Am I insane? I mean, as a guitar player and a singer, I believe a lifetimes pursuit of becoming an entertainer should be more than just a hobby. If I can make a few bucks to actually call it a second "job", does it justify all the lugging of equipment, the weekend nights out 'til 1 or 2, driving to hell and gone for a gig? But 4 bands? It really isn't as bad as it sounds, though. Stayin' Late might practice before a gig. Mule Train will play its second gig this week without having a practice yet. Axe has, for the most part, got it's set list down and needn't go every week. Sinner and Saints is new and I need to put the time in until we get tighter. So it's not like I am out every day of the week. But I really need to know. Am I insane? I mean really, am I?

Is it time for a mid life crisis yet?

Ahhh, the weekend. No work, no driving, all rock and roll and booze and parties and movies and skating and knitting clubs and...you get the drift. It's when we can be "me" and not "that guy that looks like me but trudges to and fro to bring home the scraps of bacon." Had a friend ask me to go out with him to see Michael Schenker, he of the UFO fame, on Thursday night. I graciously bowed out citing monetary concerns, and in actuality was thinking, but it's not the weekend yet. I know, lame. I really didn't want to plop down the $30, and my Friday night was going to be huge, so I didn't need some crazy Thursday night shenanigans messing up my weekend.

So there I found myself, bottle of wine, remote control, flipping between the Bulls and the Blackhawks, you know, partying hard. It was only when I awoke at approximately 12:30 that I realized I had no memory whatsoever of the second half and/or third period of said games. Yes, looking forward all week to my Friday night, and I was out cold by 7:30.

Now sometimes, I find lately that as the sandman robs me of my Friday night, I will wake back up, and watch some movie that I have seen 10 times before, in a vain attempt to reclaim my lost evening. But last night, I gave in, and went to bed. Hence at 4:45, as I tossed and turned trying unsuccessfully to fall back asleep, I did the math, and figured I had been asleep for nearly 9 hours. What self respecting 48 year old actually sleeps for 9 hours? I tried for a little early morning nookie with the wife, but apparently "5am" and "nookie" are teenage folly. So I got up.

Whew! All that partying takes the wind out of your sails, right? Not like in my carefree youth when wrapping up an all night session of D & D (Dungeons and Dragons for all you non-nerds) at 4:00 or so. Followed by a trip to Denny's for some steak and eggs or the like. Yea we partied like rock stars and we knew it. But seriously, somewhere between college and waking up one morning to find that you're the dad of two brooding young teens, what the hell happened? Please don't say it to my face, but yes, I have become my parents. The old folks who stay in on the weekend.

OK, truth or dare? Truth. I manage to keep somewhat active playing in, at last count, the vestiges of 4 bands. At some point over the summer, I will no doubt have a busy schedule of playing nearly every weekend, bringing home a few bucks so that it actually qualifies as my second job. I'll be, for at least a fleeting moment, the Rawk Gawd I had always dreamed of being, staying up until 1 or 2. And it is at that moment of the night, when you're packing in your gear, and the last vestiges of your friends are sucking down the last beer of the night you realize one sobering thought: these peeps came out to have fun, party to some rock and roll, and get hammered. How do they do it? If not for the band, I would be asleep on the couch, remote falling from my hand to the floor, slight drizzle of drool dripping from the corner of my mouth. Well, I guess there is always Saturday night. Now all I need is a couple of Red Bulls and some Viagra and I'm golden.