"...it's Czechoslovakia! It's like going into Wisconsin."

First The Guitarman would like to make one thing very clear. He does night plan on making a career out of writing about driving. Even though 2 out of my first 3 posts involved the subject, it is impossible to talk about my trip the Door County this past weekend without going 3 for 4.

Is it in the water? The genes? Are they born that way or do you have to go to school to learn the fine art of DRIVING LIKE A COMPLETE ASS!! But before I rip into cheesehead drivers, I must first say it was a very pleasant trip. Nobody yelled "Bears suck!" at me this time as I paraded around in a Bears t-shirt. The lady at the go-cart place even gave me a free ride because she said I "...spent so much already today." I appreciate the nice gesture but still wondered if she was thinking all the while, sucker. And PC junction was not crowded, and the train did not spill my food on me this time as it came around the bend.

But getting there. And back. Every time we schedule a trip to my folks place, I think to myself, I have to make that drive again. Oh it's easy enough, route wise, 3 to 31/2 hours tops. But why oh why does the cheesehead driver putz along in the left lane with a dozen cars behind him? And speed up when you try and go around him? And don't get me started on the construction zones. Am I the only person who refuses to get over LITERALLY a mile before the lanes merge? This happened not once, but twice. Each time a multitude of lemmings, swerving their cheese-mobiles out of their lane in a futile gesture to keep me behind them, were trying to say to me, "Don't be that smart, FIB. Be a putz like us!" (Note to my brethren Illinoisans: FIB = F*#king Illinois Bastard) Of course it's a phenomenon that is not restricted to our neighboring state to the north, but its just, worse. WAY worse.

OK that was harsh, and I have a lot of friends in Wisconsin. So, my apologies if I offended you. Unless you happened to be on the highway between here and Sturgeon Bay this past weekend.