Excuse me, but I think you've dropped something.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Stopped in traffic I see a McDonalds cup fly out of a window 2 cars ahead. First thought: get out of car, throw it back in offending vehicle. Traffic starts to move, so I did the next best thing. As I pull along side, I notice a young 25ish woman yapping away on her cell phone. Fate steps in for the first time as the light turns red, and we are next to each other. My icy stare goes completely unnoticed, so I ask her if she has ever heard of a garbage can. Ignoring me. I ask her if she would throw that on her street. More yapping. Here's where it gets fun.

Traffic starts to move and she quickly accelerates to within 6 inches of the bumper in front of her. I pull along side and repeat question number 1. She finally glances at me, mutters “hold on” into cell phone #1, proceeds to pick up cell phone #2 and mouths to me something that curiously sounds like, “duck poo”. She slows down as if to get behind me and a scene flashes in my head. She gives my license plate to some over testosteroned boyfriend who shows up at my door to remind me that his muscles are bigger than mine.

In a flash I am now behind her. She speeds up and cranes her neck to try and read my front plate in her rear view mirror but is not quick enough as I reach my street and turn off. As I glance back, I catch a glimpse of her for the last time. Her car jumps the curb and she side-swipes a street sign, and I’m thinking, there is justice in the world on occasion.

Moral of the story? Never get into an argument with a woman who carries 2 cell phones. That and MYOB.