The Last Kiss Goodnight

It was quite a long time ago, many years before they became Brooding Young Teens 1 and 2. Which of course was predated by impish adolescence, which followed screaming brats, cute toddlers, and cuddly newborns.

The kids are all grown now, one off to college in the fall, the other winding her way through high school. And when I say all grown, I mean they aren't yet adults, but way past the point when I could pick them up, put 'em on my shoulders, give them piggy backs up the stairs, or even get an old fashioned hug. We are rolling with it of course, the endless financial aid forms, trips to the mall to just hang out, BDubs binging, snowboarding, tattoo parlors, garage door opening at 2am, and so on. Eh, like I said, we are rolling with it. Life goes on, ya know? But as I look back, I realize that I missed out on cherishing something that at the time I had no idea was happening. The last kiss goodnight.

If you knew that tomorrow, your young child was finally at that age where giving mom and dad a kiss on the lips was just, ewww, wouldn't you hug a little longer? Give them that extra pat on the head with a peck on the forehead? Made sure they heard you when you told them how much you loved them? But we never know when those moments are upon us. One minute, they are holding your hand, and in the next, they are taking the car keys. But if only I could have like 5 minutes with the 7 year old version of them one more time.

So many little things you take for granted when they are babes. The last bath you give them before they insisted that you weren't allowed to see them naked anymore. The last time you fed them before they yanked that fork out of your hand. The last time you tied their shoes. Or got them dressed. The last time you got to say how their hair would be cut, but still felt a twinge of re-assurance when they had you tell the barber. The last time you helped them with their homework, before you realized they know more than you. Ok, that one comes later, but another moment, none-the-less, when your child has taken another step towards their own independence. And at the time you had no idea.

Some of these moments, I admit, are of the Phew! variety. Was happy not giving them baths anymore, equally so when they could eat on their own. Relieved when I didn't have to drive BYT#1 to and fro when he got his drivers license. Still doing the rounds with BYT#2, but she turns 16 in a couple of months. Not sure that one is going to be a Phew! or a Yikes!, but we will roll with it. But the last kiss goodnight? God I wish I could have that one back.