I want to be a liar when I grow up, just like you daddy!

And I thought I was a bad parent!! Well, not in the sense that many of you might think. We don't give our kids alcohol or drugs. We don't let them hold wild unsupervised parties. They have to do their homework before they are allowed to have fun. They can't go out past curfew. They are held accountable when they break the rules. Yada, yada, yada. Our greatest sins are giving in too often, doing too much for them, and letting them send 10,000 texts every month. OK send and receive. But we also don't tell them to lie, and we don't force them to get tattoos against their will, both of which recently happened to some sensationalism.

Everyone has heard the story of "the balloon boy" by now. Little Falcon Heene was supposedly carried away by a homemade weather balloon, only to have been found supposedly hiding in his garage. Turns out the parents made it all up for publicity to get on a reality show. (How about getting a job instead?). But the worst part, aside from wasting the taxpayers money searching for the boy and shutting down the nearby airport, was that they told the kid to lie to back up their scheme. And they were only busted by his youthful ignorance. On CNN, the father looks right into the boys eyes and asks why he didn't come out when they were calling for him, and he replies with all the wonder of a six year old, "Um, you guys said, that, mmm, we did this for the show." You could almost see the confusion running through his brain. Do I say what my dad told me to say, or do I answer his question truthfully? Poor kid, his parents are despicable.

And then there's the lesser known story of a Hispanic gang banger in CA holding his son down against his will while another man tattoos a gang symbol on him. Like some sort of brand to let everyone know it's his boy. Apparently the boy asked for it. So which is worse, allowing your 7 year old to get a tattoo, a gang tattoo, or making your son get a tattoo? Either of which has sealed this poor kids fate for the rest of his life.

So every time I let a curse word slip out in the presence of one of my kids, every time I let them have consecutive sleepovers because they begged me, or every time I give them $20 for the mall or Six Flags, I think I am the worst parent in the world. OK, third worst, right behind Richard Heene and Enrique Gonzalez. And maybe the Ramseys.