Don't let me down.

Huh? What was this person thinking? Ok, so they weren't. It never ceases to amaze the Guitarman that the little things he takes for granted, like common sense, are lost on a good percentage of the general public. Like not smoking pot in my car in front of a cops house, or not writing a book on your sexual exploits while being a high school coach of a girls sports team. Or even re-electing a politician while half the federal government is investigating every aspect of his life. Today kiddies is a special addition of 5 on 5, dedicated to stupid.

Up in flames: Juggling can be fun to watch. Especially when the said items being juggled are flaming. Ooooh!! Aaahhh! But here is word of advise to all would be flaming jugglers out there: move the can of fuel away from you before you practice your craft. Seems that was lost on one Aaron Rossetti as he promptly lost his flaming bowling pin to the picnic table where his open can of camping fuel was sitting, which of course was right next his props, which of course also burst into flame and melted into the pavement. Try using chain saws next time buddy, and we won't feel sorry for you because you were momentarily afflicted with stupid disease. You'll be dead.

Fido vs. Goliath: Take a quick look a this picture and look away.

Ok, what was the picture of? If you said a Starbucks sign like me, then you were fooled as I was. Look again. Yes Andrea McCarthy-Grzybek decided it was a clever idea to name her doggie daycare business as a take-off of the worlds largest barista shop. Not only does "Starbarks" invoke the name of the coffee megalith, but her sign looks just like a Starbucks sign, complete with the little stars, and of course the green logo. And of course Starbucks is suing, and of course McCarthy-Grzybek can't figure out why. I know why. Stupid covertly crept it's ugly little head into her brain and demanded to be heard. You don't steal one of the most recognizable logos from a giant corporation and walk off, leash in hand, into the sunset.

I'm really a good guy: That's what Bryan Craig wants you to believe. That's what 99% of his friends would say about him, he says. Well I want talk with the other 1%. He is the guy who was a high school girls varsity basketball coach, and student counselor, who thought it was a smart idea to write and publish his own book on female sexuality called "It's Her Fault." Where he talks about targeting women for sex with low self esteem. And the differences in the vaginas of women from different races. He is suing for being fired from his job where he was around young women all day, for writing a book on how to get into their pants. Says his right to free speech is being violated. Hey dumb ass, nobody is stomping on your right to talk about what a callous womanizing loser you are. They are stomping on your right to use a high school full of young woman as your personal grazing field.

Up in smoke: Now we all know being 18 goes hand in hand with being stupid. Sometimes. We often write off our own less than Freudian moments of clarity when we were teens as being young and stupid. But here's simple little hint for all the would be pot smokers out there: don't sit in your car in front of a cops house getting high. Just ask Maximilian G. Salling. Hint number one, pot is still illegal almost everywhere. Hint number two, cops generally will bust you for breaking the law. It's what they do.

Triple J: Now my regular reader of this blog can attest to the fact that yes, I do like to pick on certain people, and in this case, the less than honorable Jesse Jackson Jr. But putting him in the "stupid" column today is not what I am doing here. Yes, using campaign money to fly your concubine to Chicago is less than smart. Yes, thinking that no one would notice that you were trying to buy your way into the US senate ranks up there in the halls of stupidity. But not today. Today I am calling out people of Illinois's 2nd Congressional District. All of you. It seems that polls indicate a clear path to re-election for Triple J despite the above stated poor decisions. Not to mention being locked in your house and the Mayo Clinic with bi-polar depression for the last six months. He hasn't campaigned. He hasn't addressed the media once. He denies the sworn testimony of his fund-raiser that he offered Blago over a million bucks for the US senate seat. He cheated on his wife. And he used campaign funds on less than campaign matters. So, all of you in the Illinois's 2nd Congressional District, I have just one question for you. Are you stupid or what?

I have said it before, I will say it again, and I will put it on my tombstone. If you give people a chance to do something stupid, they will never let you down.