The invasion of the teen-aged teenager!!

Our house, by most standards, is modest. Not a lot of room for us to spread out. When we moved in, it seemed bigger I remember. I guess because the kids were smaller would be as good a reason as any. But I feel some days like there is nowhere to go. Wife napping up in our room. Girls watching TV in living room. Boys, well duh. Playing video games in the basement. It's what they do. It is becoming increasingly clear to me that the teenagers are taking over our house. And not just mine.

A two teenager household, as some of you can attest to, is hardly ever a two teenager household. It's, on average, more like 3-5. They seem travel in packs and secretly coordinate their plans to all be in my house at the same bloody time. But I'm the cool dad, I can't say no. And it's getting to the point now that when the younger friends of my 16 year old son are actually the same age as the older friends of my almost 14 year old daughter, the hormone factor comes into play and that raises the ante considerably. Now I have to keep an eye on them again. Damn, I thought I was done with that when they were like 6.

And dare I mention the food? Holy crap they graze like stoned Australian cattle that have the munchies. $200 at the Jewel is gone in a weekend if I don't hide some of the stuff. The basement is littered with empty bags of chips and pop tart wrappers and water bottles and cereal boxes. And I swear something is wrong with my son. I thought I was going to have to scoop out the toilet kitty litter style this morning, I shit you not.

In the summer it's easy. I kick them outside and lock all the doors. But in the dead of winter with spring break teasing us with like 4 weeks to go, we're like that puff ball John Belushi squirted out of his mouth. I'm a zit. Get it? All of us little powder kegs ready to explode at any time. I can't wait for vacation. At least the only teenagers I will be dealing with for a week will be mine. I hope.