Land of Lincoln. A tough billing to live up to these days. Who was Lincoln anyway? A man of honesty, obviously. So honest that his mother named him after that famous saying, "Honest Abe." Or maybe it's the other way around. And smart too, I would think. Didn't get to be president for being stupid. Then again, it's not exactly a pre-requisite lately now is it? So how is Illinois carrying on his legacy? Not like Atlas, with the weight on his shoulders, trudging defiantly through time. More like a kid dragging it behind him like a sack of books through mud puddles on his way home from school.
It's not hard to tell you about letting Lincoln down on the honesty front. Lesse here, one former governor in jail, another on his way, not to mention the one that served his time and is living in California. And by last count, and that means I have actually lost count, 6 bajillion former Blago aides face trial and/or jail time for their actions while being employed by our state. No, "honest politician" has become the very definition of oxymoron, at least in Illinois. But this is not news, this is common knowledge.
I want to wade into the swirling waters of the "smart" badge I bestowed upon out most famous citizen. We have become just plain stupid. As voters, we are stupid for electing these self serving, dishonest, idiot rule makers and shakers. Where to start? It's like being Augustus Gloop as he gazes upon the candy room in Willy Wonka. How about our former Mayor Daley? Has anyone made a more stupid deal in the history of deal making? Selling the skyway to a private bidder for a hundred years. Lost revenue for one hundred years. Let me answer my own question: yes. The sale of the parking meters by the very same Mayor Daley. All that is left from a $1.2 billion, 75 year lease 3 years ago is $76 million. And the city council? Too stupid and self serving to vote against this joke of a deal.
But that is only one man, and one issue. Stupid is like an epidemic, you can't stop it. We elected Blago, twice. We are the only state in the nation, THE ONLY FRIGGIN" ONE, where you can't have a gun to protect yourself when you leave your home. We keep adding red light cameras as the rest of the nation keeps dismantling them because they, not we, realize they are just a way to feed money grubbing municipalities, not actually making the roads safer. In Park Ridge, you can't park your truck outside overnight. In Moline, you can't drive in circles, and you can't ice skate in July and August (maybe they got that one right). In Normal, you can't make faces at a dog, and in Zion, you can't give your dog a cigar, (a smart state would just ban dogs altogether). In Galesburg you can't ride your bike no handed, barbecue roadkill, or be a close talker.
OK so I am getting a little lost in my own world. But the bottom line is that I am tired of opening the paper every day and reading yet another example of how we have got it all ass backwards in regards to common sense. Is the rest of the country laughing at us? They would if they read that in Evanston, midget bowling is illegal.
Hello?
9 years ago