Michael Keaton has got nothing on me.

Ahh spring. Birds chirping, sun shining, the squirrel in my back yard plotting his next takeover, and all my friends on Facebook posting pictures of their spring break from one tropical paradise to another. Bastards. Like I would take up that much room. (It should be noted that my last post was just after the Superbowl, hence Webster is now putting the Guitarman's picture next to the definition of "sloth".) I could be on some sunny beach with a Pina Colada in one hand and a fishing rod in another. But I have to be here. You see, spring brings another joy of the season, basketball.

Or should I say driving to basketball. And compounding the myriad of tournaments and practices, a new contender has thrown its' hat into the ring. Tennis. So lets do the math. 2 kids. 3 teams. An average of 6 days a week will be devoted to sports of some kind. Gas hitting $5 by summer. I think I need a second job. BUT! I think I have it all figured out, and I can say it all in one word. Cloning.

If I could clone myself, I could finally be everywhere at once. At a first rough guess, I think 3 of me would do the trick. One to stay at work, bringing home the bacon. (Not the thick juicy slabs of the good stuff, the wispy little fillets from Oscar Meyer is more like it) Then helping out around the house, while GM #2 whisks young brooding teen #1 to his basketball matches on the weekends, helping out at practices twice a week, AND following the team bus to all of his tennis matches. I am not sure how HE is going to be able to pull it all off, so maybe I need to clone him too while I am at it. Then GM #3 should be free to take young brooding teen #2 to all of HER weekend basketball matches and HER 2 a week practices. I guess 3 wouldn't quite do it.

Another me to devote some time to the band(s), you know, actually having time to practice, call bars for potential gigs, not to mention the schlepping of the gear all weekend long. And then of course all of this spring break nonsense. If I can just slip away un-noticed for a week to 10 days, I could come back refreshed and ready to charge headlong into the tsunami of sports that await my return. So that's 5, I think. Maybe I should add one more for good measure. GM #6 could be there just in case one of the other 5 collapses from exhaustion.