My life as a chauffer.

So it's been a while, faithful reader(s). It's not that I have nothing to say, I mean American terrorists are killing our soldiers, the State of Illinois and especially the City of Chicago are in the worst financial crisis in a generation, we still can't figure out how to insure the population, cheesehead drivers are pissing me off, yada, yada, yada. No, I have no time for anything but eating, sleeping, working, cooking, and watching the Bears, Bulls, and Hawks. And its all because of basketball.

In one week, I/the wife ferried the kids to 14 practices, watched 4 games, and drove 25 miles to lessons twice. Dinner doesn't exist during basketball season. It's more like snacks on the go, power bars and apples. And when you finally do get time to eat, it's like 9:30, and who wants to get all full that late? And eating together? Forget it. I've had nights where I've made four different thing at four different times. So much for conversation.

Now my son lives and breathes basketball and plays on his high school team in winter, a travel team in spring, and an in house league in the fall. Spread out, and not too bad. But my daughter is in 8th grade and plays for her middle school team, made the high school feeder team this year, and still plays park district ball that I coach. All at the same time. So we are part of 4 teams right now and the driving really makes me yearn for February 1, the day my son gets his drivers license and I can say "Here, go pick up you sister."

Don't get me wrong, I love every minute of the games. All the driving around is worth it when you are sitting there, and they make a basket and look right up at you, just to make sure you were watching when they did.

Has Obama become just another politician?

It is becoming obvious that The Guitarman is starting to get a little too political for his own britches. That being said, I have to stay on topic for one more day.

There is an old saying that goes something like: There would be no politics without politicians. OK, I just thought of it. It is entirely possible that it has been said before so it could be an old saying, but it begs the question, ? As POCA rolls onward, the Permanent Obama Campaign Apparatus (with a nod to Steve Huntley for coining the phrase), complete with events scheduled around the country to celebrate his first year in office, maybe the question should be, was he ever anything else but?

On the radio this morning, I heard The Presidents press secretary doing the usual post election tap dance in response to the Republicans gaining the controls of New Jersey and Virginia. He said something to the tune of Obama "...not being a factor in the race." But I'll bet had the Dem's took those two gubernatorial races, the horns would be blowing from the tallest ivory towers in the White House. Maybe he was a factor indeed, for the other guys.

But the thing that really got me going was a comment The Prez made on the whole health care thingy. He made it clear that passing health care reform was urgent, and it needed to be done before the end of the year. Now is Obama doing this in the best interest of the country? Or in the best interest of his party? After all, 2010 is a critical election year for the senate, and no doubt most senators will vote whichever way will get them the most votes toward re-election, Democrats and Republicans alike. But is The President pushing hard for reform now so that it doesn't become a campaign issue next year? We need to get it right, which he has said in the past. We don't need the country's top politician playing politics on such a delicate issue. Even Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said, "We're not going to be bound by any time lines."

After Clinton's first 2 years in office, the country spoke, and gave the Senate majority to the Republicans. The White House is scrambling to try and keep this from becoming a repeat of 1994. But the country works better with checks and balances. Giving too much power to any one party can be hazardous to the country's health. In 2012 he will run for re-election, and in my eyes that is a good thing, mostly in that it will keep Hillary off the ticket for 4 more years. But what decisions will be made in the coming years that will be influenced by this? Please, Mr. President, can you just do what is in our best interests, elections be damned?


Side note: The Guitarman would like to thank shky69 for becoming his third follower. This entitles you to a free ice cream cone at the McDonald's of your choice. Just send me the bill.

An answer would be nice.

Another day, another recent story of senseless bombings, attacks, and outright cowardice to innocent civilians and soldiers alike in the Middle East. A bombing in Baghdad last week kills 155. Today 100 are dead in Pakistan in a marketplace. The number will surely rise. And October has been the deadliest month in Afghanistan since the start of the war. One thing is surely clear. The people that would do harm to others feel that this is the way to accomplish their goals. But what exactly are those goals?

In Austin Powers, Dr. Evil is easy to figure out. Power and world domination. Same goes with just about all the bad guys in all of the James Bond movies. By the end of each, 007 had it figured out and the bad guys met their maker in some cinematic extravaganza. But Obama is no Bond, just as Bush and Clinton were no Austin Powers. And therein lies the rub. We don't know what the hell these people want and we are no closer to figuring it out. I'm not even sure THEY know what they want either. You could say hatred of all things American, but then why the hell are they killing each other? In the name of religion?

It seems to me the best way to defeat your enemy is to know your enemy, and until we know exactly what makes them tick, all the troops in the world won't make a difference, be it 40,000 or 4,000,000. This enemy is like a hydra. You cut off a head, and it grows back. But in this case, for every head you cut off, 2 grow back. For every terrorist (insurgent) killed, excuse me for not being PC, dozens more are kidnapped (recruited), brainwashed (trained), armed with an AK47 and sent on their merry way.

So what is the answer? Hell, I am just a guy who likes to play guitar and prattle on and on about cheesehead drivers, stupid people, and bad politicians in a blog that 2 people read. What do I know? But I know what isn't the answer. Bombing them back to the stone age, hanging Sadaam Hussein, holding POW's for eternity, it all sounds like sweet revenge. But in the end, we are just throwing wood on the fire. A fire that will continue to burn until we ask why does it burn. And actually get an answer.

I want to be a liar when I grow up, just like you daddy!

And I thought I was a bad parent!! Well, not in the sense that many of you might think. We don't give our kids alcohol or drugs. We don't let them hold wild unsupervised parties. They have to do their homework before they are allowed to have fun. They can't go out past curfew. They are held accountable when they break the rules. Yada, yada, yada. Our greatest sins are giving in too often, doing too much for them, and letting them send 10,000 texts every month. OK send and receive. But we also don't tell them to lie, and we don't force them to get tattoos against their will, both of which recently happened to some sensationalism.

Everyone has heard the story of "the balloon boy" by now. Little Falcon Heene was supposedly carried away by a homemade weather balloon, only to have been found supposedly hiding in his garage. Turns out the parents made it all up for publicity to get on a reality show. (How about getting a job instead?). But the worst part, aside from wasting the taxpayers money searching for the boy and shutting down the nearby airport, was that they told the kid to lie to back up their scheme. And they were only busted by his youthful ignorance. On CNN, the father looks right into the boys eyes and asks why he didn't come out when they were calling for him, and he replies with all the wonder of a six year old, "Um, you guys said, that, mmm, we did this for the show." You could almost see the confusion running through his brain. Do I say what my dad told me to say, or do I answer his question truthfully? Poor kid, his parents are despicable.

And then there's the lesser known story of a Hispanic gang banger in CA holding his son down against his will while another man tattoos a gang symbol on him. Like some sort of brand to let everyone know it's his boy. Apparently the boy asked for it. So which is worse, allowing your 7 year old to get a tattoo, a gang tattoo, or making your son get a tattoo? Either of which has sealed this poor kids fate for the rest of his life.

So every time I let a curse word slip out in the presence of one of my kids, every time I let them have consecutive sleepovers because they begged me, or every time I give them $20 for the mall or Six Flags, I think I am the worst parent in the world. OK, third worst, right behind Richard Heene and Enrique Gonzalez. And maybe the Ramseys.

I'm not so think as you stupid I am.

The dumbing down of America continues, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

I first started noticing things like, NO TURN ON RED signs at intersections where there previously wasn't one. Some idiot caused an accident, or more likely scores of idiots, and now smart drivers pay the price of having their option taken away from them based on someone else's poor judgement. Or the disclaimer stickers they put on things, like the one on the iron that says "Caution: HOT". It's an IRON. Or the one on the lawn mower that tells you not to put your hands inside where the blade is while the mower is running. Well duh. But I did hear the story of the guy who picked up his mover to trim his bushes, promptly removing a few of his fingers. He sued the manufacturer and won because there was no warning anywhere that told him not to do it. (CME trading floor story, probability of being true 50%)

But the latest is getting downright scary. Are drivers too dumb now to notice that they are weaving across the center line on their own? The car will steer you back to center. Or about to hit the car in front of them? It will "prep" the brakes for you. Are we so in-attentive that we forget the cruise control is on? No need, HAL will slow the car down. Or that there is a car in the dreaded blind spot? WARNING LIGHT! Yes all these features are the newest gadgets to hit the auto industry. Wonder how much all that development cost. Here's a concept. Teach the drivers better and spend the money on alternative fuel development instead. The best is the Lexus that actually parks the car for you. No need for drivers ed classes to bother with parallel parking anymore, just make sure the kid makes enough dough to buy a Lexus and the car will do the rest. Why all these tecnho gizmo's? Because we are becoming too dumb to not have them.

So every time some idiot does something stupid, you can be sure someone will take up the charge and make sure that we slap a warning sticker on it, or pass a law to protect the rest of us. Like its contagious or something. I have a friend who always says, "80% of the people in this world are stupid." Or maybe 90%. I think it started lower and has crept up after all these years. I say, given a chance to do something stupid, people will never let you down.

So whats the big hurry anyway?

So in case you are just waking up and haven't heard the miraculous news, President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to...I mean, for the amazing work he has done to...hold on a sec. What is it that he has actually done to deserve this great honor? That's right. NOTHING.

Now I am not picking on him because he hasn't accomplished much in his 8 months in office. In fact he has been a busy little beaver, holding beer summits in the Rose Garden, giving billion of dollars to hand picked wall street firms, and flying half way across the world to give yet another rah-rah campaign speech to help Chicago get the 2016 games. No, I am picking on him because this is further evidence that we are putting him on a pedestal before he actually deserves it. Never mind that the deadline for submitting nominations was Feb. 1, a mere 12 days after he was sworn in. Someone must have thought he was doing a heck-uva job already. The reason then for the award? According to the Nobel Peace Prize committee, they "...attached special importance to Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons." Basically, they gave it to him for what he has said he would do. In other news:

The PGA has awarded Tiger Woods the 1st place trophy for all the tournaments he plans to enter for the 2010 tour, based on the evidence that other players just don't stand a chance. Quote Phil Mickelson, "We whole heartily agree that this is the right thing to do. He is just too good. The rest of the field and I will now play for second place."

George Lucas has been awarded the first ever pre-emptive Oscar for his next big screen project. "Bar Wars", to begin production in 2011, is the story of two brothers from outer space, who vow to be the first extra-terrestrials to open a bar on the planet earth. But the evil Bud Viser and his legions of Dark Lagers, stands between them and their dream. "I don't really even have a script yet, just an idea I scribbled in a bar napkin one night," says Lucas. Good enough for us, says the Oscar committee.

The Chicago city council has voted unanimously to abandon all future elections for the office of Mayor. "Mayor Daley has proven time and time again that he loves nothing more than the Great city of Chicago, and it would be our honor to see him die in office at the ripe old age of 96."

And finally, the Cleveland Cavaliers have been awarded the 2010 NBA championship. David Stern said, "I love Lebron. And with the addition of Shaq to the team, I just don't see the sense in playing the regular season and risking injury to either player."

I don't know about you, but I think I am going to go the Ted Willaims route and have myself cryogenically frozen for a while. Hopefully when I wake up, Chelsea Clinton won't be President for the sole reason of her last name. Don't laugh, it could happen.

What would Mr. Rodgers do?

Now at the end of my last rant, I mentioned blowing off someones head with a Glock for the mere inconvenience of spoiling the Bears game for me. A bit of an exaggeration, and no I am not going to recant or apologize. That's the beauty of blogs. I just wanted to talk about the whole issue of guns in the home.

Now I don't own a gun, yet, but that may soon change. (For those of you out there considering burglarizing my house, I do have a pitching wedge by the bed. I considered a long iron, but I like the added heft of the wedge, as well as the shorter shaft thus enabling a less cumbersome swing inside the confines of the bedroom.) A few recent articles in the paper have begun to sway me. Last week I brought the attention of two stories in the same paper to the wife's eyes. One was the tragic story of the downstate IL family who were found murdered in their small town home. Five dead, no one in custody. The second was that of an intruder shot to death by a home owner after a break-in in Chicago. Now if you had to pick one, which family would you rather be?

The argument for a gun basically states itself. It's the counter argument that's gets a little fuzzy. Both of my kids are responsible teenagers, no worry about them playing with daddy's "toy". Both are old enough to know the dangers, and yes both are reaching that dreaded age where the talk of ready access to a suicide weapon can't be overlooked. Also we don't live in some huge, opulent house that screams, "Come rob me!!", our neighborhood is modest and quiet in a supposedly tranquil suburb. But I believe now it is the prudent thing to do. And the wife agrees with me. It was the third article in this morning's paper that maybe convinced me.

Right across town, in another cul-de-sac, in another relatively modest neighborhood, a guy wakes up to find an intruder in the house. Turns out the home owner catches the guy by sitting on him on the front lawn until police arrived. I guess it was lucky for each man that neither one had a gun. I don't think I want to take the chance that 1) the guy who breaks into my house is unarmed, or 2) that he is one of the 2% of the population the I actually outweigh. Besides, my golf swing is good, but it's not what it used to be.

So it looks like gun store, here I come. Going to go with a nice loud shotgun. Nothing like the distinct sound of that chck-chck a shotgun makes when you cock the weapon. Hell that sound alone should be enough to send intruders scampering away in fear. Now that last article listed the streets of both accoster and accostee, and you know what? They were friggin neighbors. That's right, some loser tried to rob his own neighbor. What would Mr. Rodgers sing about now?

If its not the flu, then what is it?

It must be a sickness. Or a disease. Either way I know I am not right in the head. It happens on an annual basis, lasting anywhere from 16 to 20 weeks. It first starts sometime around mid day, usually. But curiously only once a week. Mostly on a Sunday. The symptoms are frustration first, followed by confusion and/or bewilderment, which in turn leads to anger and intolerance, lots of swearing, and finishing with embarrassment. On occasion, though rare, jubilation. And I haven't been to the doctor. You see, my malady is the Chicago Bears.

Oh how I envy the occasional fan, able to watch the game with modest detachment, cheering the highs, ignoring the lows. Even scoffing indifferently at some meaningless early season turnover. This for me is impossible. I can't put the game in context. Hell, I can't even put one play into context. Life itself hangs in the balance of the next snap count. Remember week one this year? A loss to the hated Packers, and worse yet, losing our captain on defense for the whole year. By the end of the game, spit flying from my mouth faster than the cuss words can come out, I had lost my voice. Good thing no gig coming up, not good for a singer to scream until his lungs bleed. The next morning I was in a foul mood. Brows furrowed, with a sneer across my lip, the wife asked what was wrong. 16 years of marriage and she still can't figure out that a loss to the Packers on opening day is like someone taking a red hot Samurai sword and shoving it up my ass. At least she knows enough to be out of the house at kickoff.

So there I sit, in total isolation. I can't go to a friends house to watch the game, I wouldn't be invited back. EVER. My kids can barely stomach being in the same room for even a quarter, knowing that at some point, the lid is going to come off the pot. They won't even have friends over, lest they hear the dad upstairs telling Lovie Smith or Ron Turner what a piece of crap that last call was. As if I don't know they can't hear me. Thanks for that piece of reality. No, no, I am alone in my misery, unable to even enjoy a beautiful comeback like we saw against the Steelers in week 2 because of the general ineptitude of the whole game. Is there something I can take? Does anyone have a Valium?

Now I love the Cubs. And the Bulls. And am gaining new found respect for the Hawks organization. But it is the Bears they drive my motor. It is the part of the year I look forward to the most, and least. If I am out of the house for any part of the game, all I can say is thank God for the DVR. Radio in the car is off just in case some smarmy DJ decides to blare out the score and ruin my day. I have even sat in the stands at one of my kids sports games with my hands over my ears going"...LA,LA,LA...!" to drown out the possibility that someone in the crowd might utter, "Did you see that Hester ran one back today?", at which point I would whip out my Glock and put a bullet between his eyes. Am I sick? Probably. I only wish I knew what to call it. Oops, gotta run, pregame started. Can't miss Waddle, that f*#king idiot.

The real X-Men.

So assuming most of you haven't heard the story I will give you the basic facts. On Friday morning, an unloaded handgun was found in the bathroom of Warrens O'Plaine campus where my son is a sophomore. 2 thoughts immediately went through my head when he sent me a text message (the school actually TOLD the students to text/call their parents, bravo!! ) relating the news. 1) he was safe in his classroom with about 30 other students and 2) don't tell the wife until it is all over. Before I could even finish the second thought my phone was ringing. You see, he had sent the text to both of us.

I could hear it in her voice, she was fraught with both concern and worry. I'm leaning towards the 80/20 split with worry the big winner. OK 90/10. I wasn't worried in the slightest. Yes even with school shootings across the country in the last 10 years a painful reality, I was concerned about the fact that this hit so close to home this time, but I will repeat...I was not worried. I heard his voice on the phone, and there are probably 2500 kids on campus. Doing the math in my head I knew the odds were slim that he was in harms way. I am not a worrier by nature, as the wife seems to have us both covered on that front.

Is this a girl/guy thing? Or am I alone on this? Does it make me an unconcerned parent? I think I involve my self TOO much sometimes in my sons life. For instance. In our school you can go on the web site and check each class, grade for grade, on every test, quiz, homework assignment, binder check, lab report and speech. (If they had this when I was in HS my life would have been HELL.) Sometimes even before he comes home from school I will be standing at the front door wanting an explanation for the D he got in English 2 hours ago. So at the end of his 1st semester the teacher asks the class who wants to know how many time their parents had checked up on them. Hands shot up and students heard numbers like 52, 26, one kid got a chuckle when his number was 95. Our number? 156. Poor kid was the laughing stock of the class. But I was never worried that he would fail, just wanted to make sure his freshman year got off on the right foot. But the wife? After 2 weeks she was in tears over his grades, sick with worry that he wouldn't graduate and go to college. Again, I wanted him to get with the program a little better but the thought of not getting his diploma in 4 years never entered my mind. She was consumed by it.

So dear readers help me out. Am I alone? How does it work in your house? Are there guys who lose sleep when their young teen stays out late? Or when they first get their drivers license? Or do we all sit on the couch with remote in one hand while mindlessly scratching with the other telling the better half to relax? Am I a heartless bastard or is it just that damned extra x-chromosome gumming up the works?

Look, in the sky!! Its a bird, its an airplane...

So you can't stick with the Guitarman because he rambles? So lets try small doses on random topics:

Article in today's Sun Times-Men in Burqas try to attack oil facility in Pakistan. So its cowardice enough when fanatical Muslim terrorists hide amongst their own people so that when the bombs come raining down they can say that we are massacring innocent civilians, but now they are actually posing as women so that when we demand that women remove their head covering at checkpoints and the like the same ones that shoot at us or blow themselves up can accuse us of insulting their women and their religion. Riiight. Insults are so much worse than bullets and bombs.

Everyone has seen Superman, right? Didn't it annoy you that nobody could look in the face of Clark Kent and be like, "Dude, you look EXACTLY like Superman. Wait, you ARE Superman! Whoa!!" Fast forward to today. Everyone with a daughter in between the ages of like 6 and 13 can relate. Can't anyone at that school look in Miley Stewart's eyes and be like, "Dude, you look EXACTLY like Hannah Montana. Wait, you ARE Hannah Montana! Whoa!!"

President Obama appearing on Letterman to pitch his health care plan via the airwaves reminds me of a current former Illinois politician going on a TV blitzkrieg to sell his version of his truth. Here's a novel idea: Why didn't you just sell it to congress instead of giving us another inspirational speech?

If fate had any place in the real world, Kanye West would wind up retired in Arizona with wife Serena Williams screaming at him, "What do you mean you took my last steroid pill? I'll walk over there and shove your VMA Music Award down your f%&king throat!"

So Rep. Joe Wilson loses his cool and yells at the president for what he considers less than the truth. Classless and rude no doubt. So the senate rebukes him and sends him to his room with no supper. Gee, if only the Pelosi-ites could muster up only HALF the enthusiasm for the health care thingy as they do for the evil Republicans we might actually see 46 million Americans finally get health insurance.

And would someone please tell Jimmy Carter to SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!

Whew, glad I got that off my chest.